There Are No Words

First, let me begin this post by reassuring family and friends that my baby is absolutely fine. He’s big and healthy and kicking away as I type this. In as little as 6 weeks, I’ll get to meet this little man but I wanted to take a moment to recognize that not everyone is so lucky.

In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan declared October National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month saying, “When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them.” 

This week, a friend of mine shared some sad news with me. The loss of a child- whether just a couple weeks in utero or a grown adult- is an unbearable loss. There are no words I can offer. Nothing I can say. Even the status of my own pumpkin-sized midsection in his vicinity strikes me with guilt now. I know he’s sincerely happy for me, but how could it not haunt him?

I don’t mean to diminish anyone’s current pregnancy joy or throw anyone’s painful memory to the forefront but my blog is a place for me to share and this news rocked me to my core this week. So my heart goes out to my friend and to anyone struggling with this sort of grief- as I’m sure it’s a life-long struggle- I wish nothing but peace and joy for you and your families.

For more information on National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, please visit October15th.com.

No-foot-too-small-brn-blu

Welcome to the World Baby Shower

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I’m so excited to share my beautiful baby shower with you! I feel so lucky to have such wonderful friends and family around me that truly did “shower” us with the cutest gifts for our baby boy. A big special thanks goes to my mum though who happens to throw the best parties and really went above and beyond to make all my pinterest plans come true!

Our shower was themed “Welcome to the World” and dotted with vintage maps, globes, and tiny suitcases.

Eli Shower

A suitcase full of favors…

Favors

Those are tea tins and infusers with “A Baby is Brewing” labels.

Favors 3

The food was set up inside but the party took place in my Mum & Dad’s yard under a lovely white tent surrounded by their magnolia tree. It was a gorgeous late summer day. Perfect for sipping lemonade and non-alcoholic sangria. Don’t worry, there was plenty of wine on hand for those not currently with child.

Drinks

Cheese 2

Lunch 2

We chose three baby games with some surprising winners! My cousin Isabel guessed within 100 M&Ms of what was in this over-sized baby bottle. And I was shocked that it wasn’t the new mommies but my college-age cousin who ran away with the Price Is Right game. Who knew Aveeno Baby products were so darned expensive but a package of organic baby wipes barely cracked $5?

Games 2

And leave it to my girls- cousin Maria and Made of Honor Jamie to guess the circumference of my bump almost perfectly! Here I am measuring their piece of yarn guess during our B is for Belly game.

Belly

And oh the gifts! I know this part can drag on at showers but everything was so freakin’ cute I hope we kept the guests entertained.

Clothes

There was plenty of oohing and aahing but this homemade quilt from my cousin Maria brought me to happy tears! It’s so beautiful and special. I know our little man will be crawling and cooing all over this! Thank you Maria!

Quilt from Maria

Nephew Zeke really helped Auntie and Uncle out with the tough bows. He’s going to be a fantastic big cousin!

Zeke Helping

And in the end, it was all about the cupcakes… er… the people!

Cupcakes

The people were my favorite part… honest… with cupcakes a close second. Thanks again ladies!

People

Bumpdate | 30 Weeks

Bumpdate

HOW FAR ALONG: 30 weeks – totally in the third trimester!

BABY SIZE: 17 inches tall and weighing about 3.5 pounds – for those who miss the fruit and veggie comparisons – he’s the size of a cantaloupe this week.

GENDER: Boy

WEIGHT GAIN: 25 lbs

WHAT TO WEAR: Living in Old Navy Maternity. They even have maternity skinny jeans which I think is a hilarious oxymoron but at least I can wear my boots again!

STRETCH MARKS: Totes McGotes.

BELLY BUTTON: Waiting on that snooze button to pop.

WEDDING RINGS: On but getting snug!

SLEEP: I wish I could write poetry and love songs to communicate how much I adore sleep. Funny how I’m getting used to waking every couple hours to pee or flip to the other side like a burger on the grill. I guess this is nature’s way of preparing me for even more frequent wakings?

MOVEMENT: Stopped me mid-sentence the other day with a kick. The big ones definitely get my attention and the tiny ones still make me giggle. I just picture him shadow boxing in there!

MISSING: Bending over was nice. I miss bending over. You don’t realize how much it comes in handy until you can’t do it. Forget socks, pedicures, and lord knows if I drop something there better be someone around to get it or I’ll sure-as-shit never see it again.

CRAVINGS: Anything pumpkin but that’s just par for the course with me once fall comes around.

SYMPTOMS: I was diagnosed with Anemia last week. No surprise given how tired I’ve been but the news hit me with my first pangs of mommy guilt. Though anemia is common in pregnant women, my vegetarianism probably didn’t help the matter and for that choice I feel guilty. If my midwife told me to down a 16 ounce rib eye in order to help the baby, believe me I would despite an 18-year streak without red meat. But thankfully, she instructed 2 iron pills daily and I’ve been upping the spinach and broccoli intake just in case.

HUSBAND: Still the best ever. I got a calf massage the other day that was just. to. die!

FAVORITE MOMENT THIS WEEK: Laying on the couch with Jared, calling out to our little guy, and watching him respond with a hardy kick after kick! Might have just been impeccable timing but I like to think he was saying hi back!